So here it goes.
It was one year ago that Jonathan got a concussion during a basketball game. I'll go more into detail on that part in another post at a later time. What this past year has taught me is what does it mean to fully trust God? Towards the end of 2017 our Pastor talked about how God says to 'fear not' in the bible 365 times, one for each day. This got me thinking about how important it is for me to trust God in all things. I'll admit when it comes to my kids, I have a hard time leaving my prayers at his feet and letting Him control the situation. Instead I pick that prayer back up and try and solve it myself. After all I am their mom. I'm supposed to know the answers. I'm supposed to be someone they can come too for help. But what do you do when you don't have the answer? When you don't know how to help? After this particular sermon I felt lead to look in the Bible for some fear not passages and ask God for guidance in being a better mom and wife. So that is where my "word" for 2017 came from. I guess it would be more of a phrase. Fear Not. My goal for this year is to focus on one area of life and what the Bible has to say about how to not fear. And maybe throughout this journey some of the things I am learning will be able to help someone else.
So here goes nothing...
Fear Not - Deuteronomy 6:13 NIV says "Fear the Lord your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name"
So what does this mean and what does it have to do with the storm I feel like we are in. Well, Moses is telling the people to make sure they don't forget God when they enter the promise land and become prosperous. Its easier to take on life when things are going good, you have all that you need, everyone is healthy, and generally every day is a good day. In these times its easy to not look to God and lean on him. Our needs are met. Rather than praising God for meeting those needs, more times than not, we forget to thank him all that he has given and look at ourselves as providers. Maybe this isn't done intentionally, but its still done. However when times are tough, the storms in our lives are rampant, we lean on God more than ever. We look to Him to carry us through. These are our times of need that we cry out to Him. And we should cry out to Him, please don't stop. But what do we do after we cry out and ask for His help, guidance, love, etc. Do we trust that he is going to take care of us or do we take those prayers and try and solve the problems ourselves? The words 'serve him only' really hit me. Before all of this started with Jonathan who was I serving? Was it God or was it the world? Through this past year who have I been serving? God or the world? I'll admit, trying to find what is wrong with Jonathan has consumed almost every waking thought. I have spent more time in research on Mayo Clinic and Cleveland Clinic website than I have probably anything else. I've ready more articles about traumatic brain injuries, concussions, epilepsy, brain fog than I care to admit. So this has me thinking. What if I would have spent even half of that time in prayer? Why have I been so focused on the medicine that I've forgotten to look to the One who created it all? Have I prayed, of course. Have I cried out to God, yes, many times. Did I trust God to handle the situation? Sadly, no I don't think I have. I've been trying to do it all on my own. Why is it we think we know better than God does? I don't know if I have the answer to that but I do know I'm human which means I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. So I think the answer to this would be, over the past year I've been serving medicine and doctors. And maybe for you it is something else. Maybe a job, a habit, a hobby, other people, etc. For each of us it is probably something different. The real question should be, who am I serving right now? Who will I serve tomorrow? And what does 'take your oaths in his name' mean? When you are serving that thing that is priority in your life who are you doing it for? Are you doing it in the name of Jesus or someone else? What is your reason for making that so important in your life? Jonathan has missed out on a lot over the past 6 months, one of which is getting the opportunity to try out for the school basketball team. The doctors have told us numerous times how basketball is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. What they don't take the time to realize, basketball is just as important to Jonathan as his faith and relationship with God. To him, they go hand in hand. He has loved the game since he could walk. After high school he wants to get a degree in Sports Management and become a coach or recruiter or work for a professional team. And we have come close over the past few months to all of that being taken away from him. Maybe all of this will add to his story and he will make an extraordinary coach one day. Or maybe this will add to his testimony on what God did in order for him to see another path, a path he couldn't see before the concussion. Tuesday we go back to the neurologist for yet another appointment. We have been fighting really hard to hold onto this dream he has, trying to help him make sure he can achieve it. But what if that isn't what God wants? What if God has another purpose for his life? And what if I'm here serving man and medicine, standing in the way of what God wants/needs to happen? Hopefully in 9 months when the start of the next basketball season comes around we will have more answers and will understand why this past year has had to happen. Regardless, I need to make sure I'm letting God guide us and guide him. I need to remember God is in control and I am here to serve Him no matter the storm.
So here goes nothing...
Fear Not - Deuteronomy 6:13 NIV says "Fear the Lord your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name"
So what does this mean and what does it have to do with the storm I feel like we are in. Well, Moses is telling the people to make sure they don't forget God when they enter the promise land and become prosperous. Its easier to take on life when things are going good, you have all that you need, everyone is healthy, and generally every day is a good day. In these times its easy to not look to God and lean on him. Our needs are met. Rather than praising God for meeting those needs, more times than not, we forget to thank him all that he has given and look at ourselves as providers. Maybe this isn't done intentionally, but its still done. However when times are tough, the storms in our lives are rampant, we lean on God more than ever. We look to Him to carry us through. These are our times of need that we cry out to Him. And we should cry out to Him, please don't stop. But what do we do after we cry out and ask for His help, guidance, love, etc. Do we trust that he is going to take care of us or do we take those prayers and try and solve the problems ourselves? The words 'serve him only' really hit me. Before all of this started with Jonathan who was I serving? Was it God or was it the world? Through this past year who have I been serving? God or the world? I'll admit, trying to find what is wrong with Jonathan has consumed almost every waking thought. I have spent more time in research on Mayo Clinic and Cleveland Clinic website than I have probably anything else. I've ready more articles about traumatic brain injuries, concussions, epilepsy, brain fog than I care to admit. So this has me thinking. What if I would have spent even half of that time in prayer? Why have I been so focused on the medicine that I've forgotten to look to the One who created it all? Have I prayed, of course. Have I cried out to God, yes, many times. Did I trust God to handle the situation? Sadly, no I don't think I have. I've been trying to do it all on my own. Why is it we think we know better than God does? I don't know if I have the answer to that but I do know I'm human which means I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. So I think the answer to this would be, over the past year I've been serving medicine and doctors. And maybe for you it is something else. Maybe a job, a habit, a hobby, other people, etc. For each of us it is probably something different. The real question should be, who am I serving right now? Who will I serve tomorrow? And what does 'take your oaths in his name' mean? When you are serving that thing that is priority in your life who are you doing it for? Are you doing it in the name of Jesus or someone else? What is your reason for making that so important in your life? Jonathan has missed out on a lot over the past 6 months, one of which is getting the opportunity to try out for the school basketball team. The doctors have told us numerous times how basketball is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. What they don't take the time to realize, basketball is just as important to Jonathan as his faith and relationship with God. To him, they go hand in hand. He has loved the game since he could walk. After high school he wants to get a degree in Sports Management and become a coach or recruiter or work for a professional team. And we have come close over the past few months to all of that being taken away from him. Maybe all of this will add to his story and he will make an extraordinary coach one day. Or maybe this will add to his testimony on what God did in order for him to see another path, a path he couldn't see before the concussion. Tuesday we go back to the neurologist for yet another appointment. We have been fighting really hard to hold onto this dream he has, trying to help him make sure he can achieve it. But what if that isn't what God wants? What if God has another purpose for his life? And what if I'm here serving man and medicine, standing in the way of what God wants/needs to happen? Hopefully in 9 months when the start of the next basketball season comes around we will have more answers and will understand why this past year has had to happen. Regardless, I need to make sure I'm letting God guide us and guide him. I need to remember God is in control and I am here to serve Him no matter the storm.
